FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
March 1, 2010
Contact:
Dan Voelpel, 253.571.1015
Parents: Talking to your child after a violent death
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- Students need a caring adult to tell them what happened in developmentally appropriate language. This should be done in as comfortable environment for the students as possible.
- Students need someone to provide time and space to honestly and compassionately answer questions they may have.
- Students need to feel safe. They need to be reassured that they are safe. They need to know what is being done to keep them safe both at school and at home.
- Students need to know about what is happening in regards to follow-up. What things might they see or hear that would be different? Will there be investigators or reporters in the building? Will there be areas of the school that students are not allowed access to as a result of the tragedy? Will there be any other new faces at the school that are providing support and help?
- As children grieve it will be important to recognize that:
- Grief is a natural reaction to loss. This may be some student’s first experience with death. They may not know what to expect. It is important that they know that grief can affect our thoughts, our behavior, and our physical bodies.
- Grief is unique to each child. Each child has a unique relationship with the teacher and will therefore have some unique elements of their grief and their coping.
- There are no “right” or “wrong” ways to grieve. Some children may prefer not to talk about the teacher and the death, while others may want to talk about it all of the time. Some children may want to draw or write about the teacher and the death while others may need time and space to be physical (run, play sports, etc.).
- It is important not to offer too much advice, but rather more nonjudgmental listening which can help them sort through all the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing.
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